Moms. There’s literally a million different kinds of them, but we all want the same thing for our little humans, the best possible everything that life has to offer. You realize it more once you’re staring at your own little one in the face and watching their eyes explore your face that there is literally nothing more in the entire universe that you want, other than to give them everything that you can.
What is giving them the best possible life they could imagine? That answer is different for everybody. I think that’s something that a lot of us could use regular reminding of. No two parents or households are going to operate the same. What works for Kennedy and I won’t work for my best friend and her newborn. Can we talk about what works for us and what doesn’t? Of course! What we shouldn’t do is mommy-shame or bash based on their decisions and choices. There is a small exception to this rule of course like many other things in life but in general, I like to follow the rule of thumb that you just don’t tell someone else how to Mommy.
I say this after I experienced someone telling me that I was harming my daughter by baby wearing her. I did what I often do, packed myself and Kennedy up in the car to head to the grocery store to get food to eat for the week. Saw the same clerks/workers that I often do and some of them recognize me because I go the same day every week and they’re usually working. I’ve always had positive remarks when I’ve worn her in a baby carrier or just some weird looks because, hey, I get it, baby wearing isn’t for everyone. I was at the checkout and bagging my groceries when the woman across from me said something along the lines of, “Look at her, you’re squishing her and she’s all bunched up in there, aww, poor baby.” Cue the steam coming out of my ears and my heart and blood pumping a MILLION miles per hour, yet I could barely let more than a few words escape my mouth. I’m pretty sure I said something along the lines of, “Oh, she’s fine, notice that she’s sleeping peacefully and this is nice and soft.” I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I was embarrassed. ME. I couldn’t believe someone would make sure a comment.
After being incredibly pissed off the entire drive home and then once I arrived in my kitchen to tell my husband what I happened, I had some time to think to myself about her comments. Was I irritated? Yes. But, I had to step away from the situation and ask myself, why would she make that comment? Maybe she doesn’t know anything or much about baby wearing, maybe she isn’t comfortable doing it because she never was taught how to do it, who knows? But I was allowing her viewpoint on parenting and how to do things get to me. There are millions of women that have to deal with people negatively projecting their opinions on their parenting style and it’s not fair.
I know I’m not perfect and there’s been several times where I’ve seen someone do something with their child that I didn’t agree with or that I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing with Kennedy, but who am I to tell them I think what they’re doing is wrong when it’s just a different way to do it? After dealing with my interaction in the grocery store I decided it isn’t my place to pass judgement on another mom.
I’ve said it once before and I’ll say it again, being a mom is freakin’ hard. But it’s also unbelievable and quite frankly the best job I’ve ever had in the entire world. It should be a joy for all the mommies, not something that they have to second guess because someone might greet them with criticism for their way of getting it done. My hope, as more and more of my girlfriends and their partners start having babies, is that we can empower one another and learn from each other. I have been loving talking pregnancy, babies, and motherhood so much and I’ve found that to be greatly in part to my fellow September Mamas that I’ve been friends with for about a year now (thank God for the internet). 36 different women, all of us with different ways of doing things, but we’ve NEVER bashed each other for how we parent our babies. I couldn’t be more grateful! I’ve learned so much from them and now as more and more of my friends that I see in person regularly become moms, I hope I can take what I’ve learned through these ladies, and share it with more of my friends.
We must stick together mamas! With that being said, I hope to post a fun post next about Kennedy and her newest happenings. Give me a couple weeks and I’ll do a big 6 month update (excuse me while I go cry, how is she 6 months already?)
Love to all! xoxo