Round of Applause for ALL The Moms

I’m in awe of moms and all the things that they do. My fellow mamas give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve one.

I had the nice change of pace to work from home the majority of this week, which is something I’ve strongly considered pursuing as a way to still be in the workforce and be at home with my little one more. Let me just share, IT’S FREAKING HARD.

I think there is a stigma that working from home isn’t the same as working in an office, which isn’t something I completely agree with. I think in past time, that could of been a valid argument but with the advances in technology, you can work from virtually anywhere. It’s nice for those of us that need a change of scenery than our cube walls or who work best at really weird times or the day or who may need flexibility one day to the next.

So back to my point, working from home, with a mobile 10 month hold is just in a league all it’s own. I bow down to the women that have figured out the mathematical equation it is to occupy your child, make sure they’re not going to blow the house up or hurt themselves, all while being able to focus on their work and make it through the day with happy kids and a checklist that is complete. You are the best multitasker of the century for being able to do ALL of that, daily.

I admit, on Monday, Kennedy took two glorious naps, first was a 2.5 hour long snooze, which she NEVER does, and her second was an 1.5 doze. I got SO MUCH DONE in those 4 hours.

Now…transition to Wednesday…we were on a nap strike and she just paraded around the living room saying “Mama, Mama, Mama” which is super adorable and I was totally okay with it until about 12 noon when I realized I’d gotten 1 task done out of my 4 I needed to complete. Panic ensued. I worked a lot later in the day that I normally would if I would of gone to the office, I was DRAINED.

Thursday…same story. I was lucky enough to get a really good 2.5 hour nap out of her in the afternoon and I knocked out all my projects but my brain was fried afterward.

This was the taste that I got of being a work from home mom. It was so super difficult. I had no time to clean my kitchen, I tossed 1 load of laundry in the wash and got it to the dryer but it’s still sitting in my house unfolded, that was on Monday that I washed those clothes by the way.

Being a work at home mom doesn’t mean it’s “easier”, truthfully those few days I had at home working and caring for Kennedy were some of the most tiring days I’ve had since I returned to work because I’ve only had to focus on one or the other and not both at the same time.

So, I’ve been able to experience, or course not for long periods of time but still, in general experienced, being: a stay at home mom, a work from home mom, and working mom. Let me tell you, there is none of these 3 lifestyles that is easier than the other. They all have their challenges. I’ve had a hard time accepting my current lifestyle as a working mom but after being a home and working, I can say that some of the things I enjoy are the routines we have (I LOVE routines!), structure to my day, being able to focus on Kennedy only when we’re at home and work only while I’m at work, and being able to do work I actually enjoy and I can feel stimulated by.

I enjoyed working from home because I got plenty of breaks with my little one throughout the day and knew she was close by, all while still doing state brain stimulation that my work provides me.

Staying at home and focusing on Kennedy and my family, I felt connected and very in-tune with all the needs of our home and my little girl. There are serious benefits to each one of these roles and I myself am guilty of thinking “one is better than the next” but after getting the chance this week, I can see how each of these different “types” of moms have their struggles.

I appreciate each and every learning opportunity I’ve had to see how other moms handle their business and all I have to say is, WE KNOW HOW TO GET IT DONE. One way or another, we take care of our families and ourselves. Yes, somedays we will fall short but as a whole, we are nothing short of incredible.

So thank you life for allowing to see things from all angles. I feel like God wanted this for me so I could understand the path I’m currently on. I appreciate more than I could of ever imagined. I also appreciate you ladies, it’s hard sometimes to describe the struggles you experience unless someone can experience them first hand and I bow down to all the moms. It isn’t easy but somehow we make it our own and I think you’re amazing.

Until next time. xoxo

 

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Becoming a Mom at 25

It’s funny, at 25 (since having Kennedy I have turned 26) I think that I’m a young mother. I’m sure there’s a lot of you nodding in agreement while reading this and on the flip side I have friends my age that have children that are in elementary school already, so I fit somewhere in the young spectrum no matter how you look at it.

I’ve heard all of the following remarks: “Why now?” “Don’t you know what that will do to your life?” “You aren’t done growing up, why have babies?” “Don’t do it!” “Kids change everything.”

I don’t disagree with one of these remarks…kids do change everything. I know most women my age couldn’t even dream of doing the things I’m doing now. Waking up at weird and all hours of the night to a crying little one. While it wears on you, comforting that cute little one that belongs to you is so rewarding, whether it’s 12 PM or 2 AM.

There have been plenty of times I’ve just wanted to “run to the store really quick” and those days are over. Instead I’ve got a sidekick to take with me on all of my shopping excursions. My sidekick comes with a lot of extra cargo too which makes it that much more challenging, but you know I’ve taken multi-tasking to a whole new level. I can comfort a crying baby while putting on a baby carrier and grocery shop while we work on nap time.

I think the hardest thing for me since I’ve become a mother is feeling like I can’t relate to the people I once had everything in common with. Over the last several years I’ve done a lot of things that make me less of a conventional millennial. I finished college at 21. I got married at 22. We bought at house at 24. I got pregnant and had a baby at 25.

Those first few weeks postpartum I felt very isolated. I wanted so badly to call my best girlfriends and cry but stopped myself because, who was I going to call? None of them have babies! Instead I would call my mom (seriously, moms are the best) and cry while she assured me I wasn’t the first mom to feel this way. It was still so hard.

I was upset because I felt like nobody wanted to come visit me and being on maternity leave alone, was just that, lonely. I was trying to adjust to being a mother and how all encompassing it was to take care of a newborn and all I wanted was some normalcy but I didn’t feel like I could find that from my friends or peers my age.

After I had my pity party for a few weeks of feeling isolated, I decided enough was enough. I couldn’t keep being upset with people that had no idea I was upset with them. It sounds super crazy as I type it out, but it’s true, I was mad at people and they had no clue that I was. I didn’t want to be that person. I decided I needed to have a reality check with myself.

I reminded myself that this, motherhood at 25, was what I wanted, deeply and truly, what I wanted. Just because that’s what I wanted at my age, doesn’t mean that everyone around me wanted or wants the same thing. That realization alone helped me more than anything because I reminded myself that it’s important for me to embrace all the different people and personalities I have in my life, which I think I’ve done a good job of ever since.

I also decided those feelings I had of being upset with people around me that weren’t constantly “checking” on me, needed to go. Expectations are never a good thing, especially when it comes to friendship and I felt horrible even admitting that I had any expectations!

Lastly, I took all the feelings that I had and told myself to remember them. There was going to come a time that my friends would be ready to have families and become mommies and that in that time in their life I want to be an open book. I want to be someone they can talk to if they need an ear to listen. If they ask for advice, I want to be able to give it but also remember that overloading them with advice is not my place, especially if it isn’t asked.

I’m taking this place that I’m in, of becoming a mom at 25 and absolutely loving it. I’m learning so much about myself and even more from this little girl that’s absolutely changed my life in the almost 6 months that she’s been born. Somedays are so easy and fun and others are a challenge but they’re forming me and shaping me in more ways that I could of dreamed. Instead of feeling confined and like I’m trapped, I can feel myself blossoming. Coming up with ideas and daydreams of what the future holds and how I will contribute to our family in several different ways. Being a young mom is fun and having a young family is incredible.

One thing I keep reminding myself is every person’s walk is different, and mine is going to be different than the person next to me and my journey is no different but I shouldn’t spend my time comparing my story to those around me. Instead, I’ll take my story and experience and use it to help others.

 

Next time I write I plan to talk a little bit more about my career and my struggles with being a working mama. Thanks for reading!